Thursday, December 3, 2009

Table of Contents

Table of Contents


Reflections


Introduction: You Asked For It…My Opinion!


The Evolution of Language and Identity


Introduction: Do Over!


Intermission 2: Original Paper


Intermission 2: Revised Addition


Introduction: Whose Listening Anyways?


Vampires


Introduction: It’s My Party


Scrapbooking is a Community


Reflections

On September 21, 2009 I began my “back to school” journey. As a former stay-at-home mom turned divorced single mom of two kids, I felt like an outsider my first week of college. Actually, the feelings of being an outsider began during the SOAR testing. I felt like the oldest person in the room (can you believe that I am almost 30?). I was surrounded by eighteen year olds and feeling a bit out of my comfort zone. Perhaps that is one of the reasons that online classes appealed to me. I chose to take online courses for a few reasons.

I would be able to complete assignments on my own time and in the comfort of my own home. Day, or night, in my pajamas, or in my work clothes. It wouldn’t matter because no one would be able to see me.

Online classes would allow me to continue working full time.

Online classes would allow me to spend more time with my kids since daycare would not be needed. I could even study and complete homework as they played quietly with toys, or watched a movie.

These initial classes, such as English 101, are “easy,” and I could knock out these types of classes online and in the comfort of my home, before having to set foot on campus.

Needless to say, I made a few wrong assumptions about this new world I was entering.

The first day of class I got my first wake up call…I could not believe the work load! I clicked on that “lessons” tab, and all of my preconceived notions were rocked to the core. After the first week I was seriously questioning if this single mom could hack it! After eight weeks of trying to “do it all,” I made some serious changes. I took stock of my priorities, and I decided to cut my hours at work in half. I admitted to myself that my kids were going to continue to be a distraction and I made special time for them, and when I needed to, I sent them to Grandma’s so I could study without interruptions. My biggest breakthrough was when I realized that these core classes were essential to my long term success in school and in life, and then made the decision to be intentional about my work in English 101D.

During the course of the last eleven weeks we have explored three main topics: identity, community, and traditions. Through the use of discussion boards, blogs, timed writes, and formal writes we have questioned the ideas and assumptions we have about each of these subjects. Each of the exercises has allowed me to further develop and stretch my views on personal identity, the purpose of communities, and the importance of traditions. I have had the opportunity to experience the views of a rather diverse group of individuals, which has enabled me widen and enhance my own belief system in regards to these issues. In some cases my beliefs before the class started have been strengthened, and in other cases they have been altered and changed forever. After careful consideration, I chose the following pieces of my work to represent and showcase my hard work in this class.

Critical Thinking: My post from the Identity Discussion Board #2, “The Evolution of Language and Identity.” This piece showcases my ability to analyze material.

Revision: My Timed Write from Intermission #2. Due to the limited amount of time to organize and then create a paper, I am looking forward to taking the time now to make this rough and choppy paper into a complete and cohesive paper.

Awareness of Audience: My post from the Tradition Discussion Board #2, “Vampires.” This post on pop culture received a lot of feedback, and was fun to write.

Writer’s Choice: Blog #2, “Scrapbooking is a Community.” The blogs were my favorite part of this class. I loved the opportunity to write “freeform,” and knew that I wanted to include one of my blog posts in this assignment.

Although this assignment felt overwhelming at the beginning of week 10, I am thankful for the opportunity to prepare and showcase a sample from each of our units in this portfolio. Each piece I have chosen is special to me and I am happy to share them with you in this e-portfolio. Happy reading!

Introduction: You Asked For It...My Opinon!

Have you ever heard that a female’s brain turns to mush after the birth of a baby? I never believed it until now. I can tell you that I have never been short on words. One of my many downfalls is my inability to hold back and reign in exactly how and what I feel about pretty much any subject. You can probably imagine my surprise when I sat down to write my first paper this quarter and my mind went completely blank! I still had opinions and feelings about the subject matter, but I could not figure out how to translate them into a cohesive and fluid writing. Part of the surprise came from the fact that I highly enjoyed our class discussion boards and had no problem not only studying each subject matter, but was also able to break down the makeup of the subject and relate each of the individual pieces into the whole. After careful consideration, I chose to include my response to discussion board number two in the Identity Unit, entitled “I Speak, Therefore I Am...?”

In this discussion board we were to read “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” by Gloria Anzaldua on page 77 of the Remix book, and then to respond by digging into the text and analyzing the relationship between our linguistic choices and our identity. Anzaldua’s essay fired me up. In a matter of five-and-a-half pages I found myself running through a gamut of emotions ranging from anger, frustration, and sorrow, which spurred me on to dig into my own linguistic history and uncover my feelings about how the language I speak contributes to my personal identity. An example of my critical thinking is shown in the following passage from my personal post to this discussion board which I named “The Evolution of Language and Identity.”

“When I think about the relationship between my own identity and my own language, I first think of my history. I mainly think of the history of my ancestors and my country. I did not get to choose where I was born, or what language I would speak as a child, but they do contribute to the person I am today. I am proud to be an American, proud of the ancestors that came before me, proud of the values and realities that make me American, and also proud to speak my own variation of American English. I completely understand Anzaldua when she says, "Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity-I am my language." Just like me, Anzaldua's Ethnicity has a history, a past. She is Mexican and American, and that mix gives her a unique history different from my own. Each of these facts is not chosen by her, but both contribute to her personal identity. She was in a sense, forced to speak Spanglish, in an effort to communicate effectively with those around her. Some of those people being Mexican, some being American, and all criticizing her for speaking the “other” language. I am convinced that Anzaldua's statement, "Until I am free to write bilingual and to switch codes without having always to translate, while I still have to speak English or Spanish when I would rather speak Spanglish, and as long as I have to accommodate the English speakers rather than having them accommodate me, my tongue will be illegitimate," comes from her frustrations of being forced to choose one country and one language, over the other, and in essence, being forced to deny part of her identity, making her to continually feel illegitimate.”

I love history, and I tend to relate every situation to myself…to make it personal and meaningful to me in the big scope of life. Perhaps that is why this discussion board post means so much to me. Without my American History I would not, and could not have the identity I have. My ability to personalize this post created an opportunity for me to uncover why and how the language we speak influences our personal identity.

The Evolution of Language and Identity

In her essay "How to Tame a Wild Tongue," Gloria Anzaldua explores the relationship between her identity and her language, arguing that they are "twin skin." In this novel, she is able to explain the affects that her language has had on the way she views herself and the people around her. Personal identity is complicated. It is not just comprised of one characteristic, but of many, all intertwining, and interdependent of each other. Our language, just like our identities, are constantly evolving and changing. They are never stagnant and always growing and moving.

I hurt for the child Gloria was, and the constant tug-of-war she was forced to endure from every form of authority figure and source of influence she had. As a child, being told to "speak American" by the American teachers, being accused of being a traitor and betraying her ethnicity by speaking English by the Latinos, and the continual nagging from her mother to speak English without "sounding like a Mexican." The following quotes from Anzaldua were particularly eye catching.

"At American University, I, and all Chicano students, were required to take two speech classes. Their purpose: to get rid of our accents."

"Pocho, cultural traitor, you're speaking the oppressor's language by speaking English, you're ruining the Spanish language."

"I want you to speak English."

Anzaldua was continually made to feel in superior by both Americans and Mexicans, never really being accepted by either culture simply because of the languages she spoke. Yet, I don't know that the evolution and mixture of the English and Mexican language could have been avoided.

Language is simply a means of communicating with each other, but its variations and styles are rich with history, our history! Since history is the study of our past, language also can be considered the study of our past. The way we pronounce words, phrase a sentence, or the use of particular expressions, all have a history. For instance, the English language has been used since the 5th century AD when three Germanic tribes invaded Britain. It was the Angles, who came from Englaland and spoke Englisc, that the English language was born. Since then, the English language has gone through many evolutions, beginning with Old English, Middle English, Modern English, and Late Modern English, which is currently the style of English in use today. That being said, there are many variations of Late Modern English, some of them being, Australian English, New Zealand English, Canadian English, and South African English, just to name a few. Each of these styles of English is rich with history. Our American style of English began around 1600 during the colonization of North America. Some of the British pronunciations and wording "froze," as the settlers reached the Americas. American English has also been greatly influenced by the French, the Spanish, and the West African countries as well.

When I think about the relationship between my own identity and my own language, I first think of my history. I mainly think of the history of my ancestors and my country. I did not get to choose where I was born, or what language I would speak as a child, but they do contribute to the person I am today. I am proud to be an American, proud of the ancestors that came before me, proud of the values and realities that make me American, and also proud to speak my own variation of American English. I completely understand Anzaldua when she says, "Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity-I am my language." Just like me, Anzaldua's Ethnicity has a history, a past. She is Mexican and American, and that mix gives her a unique history different from my own. Each of these facts is not chosen by her, but both contribute to her personal identity. She was in a sense, forced to speak Spanglish, in an effort to communicate effectively with those around her. Some of those people being Mexican, some being American, and all criticizing her for speaking the “other” language.

I am convinced that Anzaldua's statement, "Until I am free to write bilingual and to switch codes without having always to translate, while I still have to speak English or Spanish when I would rather speak Spanglish, and as long as I have to accommodate the English speakers rather than having them accommodate me, my tongue will be illegitimate," comes from her frustrations of being forced to choose one country and one language, over the other, and in essence, being forced to deny part of her identity, making her to continually feel “illegitimate.”

Introduction: Do Over!

Do Over! Funny how many times I wish I could do something over...start from scratch, and begin again. I chose to revise my Intermission #2 timed write on communities and conformity.

Intermission weeks were fun weeks! We had the opportunity to pick a movie, view it, and discuss it with our peers. Then came the not so fun part of Intermission week…the timed write. Sixty minutes to write a paper on a prompt we know nothing about until we open the link and begin the assignment.

For Intermission Week #2 I chose to view the movie “The Shawshank Redemption.” I have loved this movie for years, and thought that my prior knowledge of this film would give me an edge and added comfort when the timed write began. I took 10 pages of notes, and watched the film three times during the week. I even outlined possible paper prompts to better prepare myself. Then, I opened up the prompt, and freaked out! All my preparation seemed to be for nothing when I read our paper prompt.

Prompt: Considering your own perceptions of non-conformity how did the film and the group discussion that ensued challenge these perceptions?

I didn’t have any notes from our discussion boards, I only had notes from the film itself! I did my best with what I had, but as you will find out when you read my paper, I did not include the required elements.

In my rewrite I reorganized my paper and tried to focus on including ways in which the movie and discussion boards challenged my views on conformity and non-conformity. My original draft focused heavily on how communities can break down an individual, so I had to work hard on turning the focus back to non-conformity within a community. Hopefully you will be able to pin point all of the required elements in my new paper!

Intermission 2: Original Paper

Communities are an essential part of our existence. They provide individuals with stability, and a standard or course of procedure when dealing with the established customs, attitudes, and ideas of a group. However, sometimes belonging to a community can strip the individual of the desire to achieve and obtain their personal goals.

There is a fine line between conformity and non-conformity. Since conformity consists of abiding by or following a group's set of standards, we often times loose sight of what our own standards are. In the film "The Shawshank Redemption," directed by Frank Darabont, we are able to view a world most of us have never, and will never see. "The Shawshank Redemption" chronicles the lives of a group of inmates and guards living and working inside of a prison. Narrated by the character Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding, an inmate at Shawshank prison, Red portrays the ways in which Andy Dufresne, another inmate in the prison, pushes against the "norm" of prison life in an attempt to preserve his personal identity.

In viewing the film we are able to witness how a community can break down it's members, striping them of their desire to do anything other than survive. Darabont depicts this from the beginning of the film in the way the guards treat the prisoners of Shawshank prison. Warden Norton, a "holier than thou" Christian, sets the tone for the prison by allowing his guards to not only berate the prisoners, but also to beat the prisoners. Surviving becomes paramount to the prisoners as they try to get by without being noticed by the guards and not speaking out of turn. Andy goes against this rule, not only approaching and speaking to the guards, but also by pulling stunts or pranks if you will, that would do the exact opposite of what the guards wish to accomplish in the jail. Andy's desire is to keep the idea of hope alive. The guards cannot afford for this to happen because by doing so they fear loosing control of the prisoners. The guards do such a good job at crushing the prisoners desires and dreams, that when Andy speaks of hope in the film Red tells him to forget about his "pipe-dream."

As a community breaks us down and stifles our desires and hopes we become not just a part of the community, but also form unhealthy attachments and dependencies upon them. As Red says "First you hate them, then you get used to them, then you get to depend on them." Which in turn creates individuals that cannot function or survive outside of the community. We see this lived out in the film by the character Brooks, when he is released, and put into a half-way house. Brooks is so fearful of the world outside of his known community that he ends up committing suicide in order to escape. Red also tells us in the film "I don't think I could make it on the outside."

Non-conformity is not always a bad thing. Non-conformists keep the individual in tact, and they keep communities from taking over, and keeps the individual in control of their own life. As Andy tells Warden Norton "It's my life!"

Intermission 2: Revised Addition

Communities are an essential part of our existence. They provide individuals with stability and a standard or course of procedure when dealing with the established customs, attitudes, and ideas of a group. However, sometimes belonging to and conforming to a community can strip an individual of the desire to achieve, obtain, and live out their own personal goals and desires.

There is a fine line between conformity and non-conformity. Standards, rules, guidelines, and boundaries are set by a community for the protection of its members, and for the benefit of the community itself. They are not meant to restrict or control an individual, but are present to ensure the success of the community. As one of my classmates noted in our discussion board “Boundaries are normally set to either protect us from something or keep something out, like guard rails on the road.” Yet in the viewing of this film we see quite the opposite. In the film "The Shawshank Redemption," directed by Frank Darabont, we are able to view a world most of us have never, and will never see. "The Shawshank Redemption" chronicles the lives of a group of inmates and guards living and working inside of a prison. Through the narration of the character Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding, an inmate at Shawshank prison, the issues of non-conformity inside of the prison are presented.

The roles of the traditional “good guys” and “bad guys” are completely switched from our traditional view of “cops and robbers.” Emily Osnes made this observation in one of her posts in our discussion board, “In my earlier post I touched on how the film depicts the guards as the bad guys and the inmates as the good guys.” Because of this switch, we find ourselves becoming emotionally attached to the inmates of Shawshank prison, making all of their acts against conforming not only bearable, but something that we cheer them on for. We no longer care what crimes have been committed or how the individuals are pushing against the boundaries set within the community. As another fellow student discovered, “it’s not so much what you do, but why you do it that’s important.”

As a community breaks us down and stifles our desires and hopes we become “prisoners” of the community we are in instead of being a viable member of that group. Also, we form unhealthy attachments and dependencies upon these controlling communities. As Red says "First you hate them, then you get used to them, then you get to depend on them." This in turn creates individuals that cannot function or survive outside of the community. We see this lived out in the film by the character Brooks, when he is released, and put into a half-way house. Brooks is so fearful of the world outside of his known community that he ends up committing suicide in order to escape. Red also tells us in the film "I don't think I could make it on the outside."

Non-conformity is not always a bad thing. Non-conformists keep the individual in tact. They keep communities from taking over, and keep the individual in control of their own life. As Andy tells Warden Norton "It's my life!"